Citizenship and Crumpets

It's official - I am British.

I went to the Register's Office, swore allegiance to Her Magesty the Queen and became one of "them".

I thoroughly enjoyed the experience but don't you think that become British ought to involve the drinking of tea and perhaps the eating of crumpets or at least a scone? The spread consisted of two pitchers of orange squash, one pitcher of warmish tap water and a plate of stale biscuits. Hardly the open arms I expected Mother Brittania to offer her newest subjects.

Nevermind - back to the ceremony. Everything was fine and dandy, those who belived in god said and oath and us sinners said our affirmation (Just to clarify - I come from the school of thought than an affirmation should be something along the lines of "I am a strong and capable woman and I will achieve what I deserve in life" - this was not one of these) then we went up to collect our certificate, my home state was misspelled but I was too blissfully happy about being British to let that spoil anything.

Unfortunately, the Algerian man sitting next to me had other ideas.

"What a load of crap." he declared.

I tried ignoring but he wasn't the sort to pick up on such subtle social tactics. "Why do people want pictures? Why have they brought their families?"

"Maybe it is important to them." I suggested to him.

"To who? Who is this crap important to?"

"Me." I hissed.

Thankfully his name was called and he left directly after collecting his wins.

This got me to thinking... At first I was irritated that I had to take a citizenship test. I even called the home office and asked if my Masters degree from a top British University would mean that I was exempt from taking it. The operator laughed at me and said that the only people are exempt are not the kind of people who could do a Masters degree at any Univeristy, let alone a top one. I felt like a twat and bought the citizenship book from Amazon.

I took the test in less than 90 seconds, the test invigilator hadn't even finished logging all of us into the computers. I paid my £32 and thought - wow! what a little money spinner that is!

After my encounter with my fellow "British citizen" at the ceremony I have to say, I have changed my mind. Citizenship is important and the ceremony was meaningful, not just for me - there were 20 of us there and although I expect to see my friend on the front page next time they find and arrest would-be terrorists in South London, we were all happy to be there. Our families came, we posed for pictures and some of us even cried but most importantly we can now all choose to wait in the shortest line at the airport.